


Shot boy Cheerleader

by nebsie



Series: Cheerleader Oikawa [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bottom Oikawa Tooru, Comedy, Crossdressing, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, oikawacentric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29758422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebsie/pseuds/nebsie
Summary: Oikawa is once again asked to do a cheerleading gig, this time attending the practice game between Dateko and Johzenji. The program planned for the day ends in a complete disaster, and Iwaizumi learns a valuable life lesson of never letting Oikawa drink alcohol without supervision.
Relationships: Aone Takanobu/Oikawa Tooru, Futakuchi Kenji/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Koganegawa Kanji/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Everyone, Oikawa Tooru/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Oikawa Tooru/Terushima Yuuji
Series: Cheerleader Oikawa [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082708
Comments: 93
Kudos: 122





	Shot boy Cheerleader

**Author's Note:**

> IM BAAACK!!
> 
> SORRYY for taking forever!!! I had many ideas for this update and it took me some while to decide which ones to include and which ones not to include XD also school has been hell but it should be more relaxed now!!
> 
> ANYWAY please enjoy this absolute madness I have written. I somehow feel this is the dumbest part I've yet written but I hope you guys like it!! <3<3<3
> 
> Much love to everyone!!!!

There were a few life lessons you just had to learn. One of them was that you wouldn’t always win. Another one of them was that not everyone around you would like you. And for Iwaizumi Hajime, one of these valuable life lessons was that Oikawa’s cheerleading madness never would end. No matter how much he wished or prayed, Oikawa would be dumb enough to agree to new cheerleading requests. And so, Iwaizumi never was able to rest.

It happened again, one peaceful Wednesday when the duo was sitting in the library together, studying for an upcoming science test. As a person with an unhealthy interest in extraterrestrial life, Oikawa was very good at science, learning everything about the said subject only to have scientific evidence for his alien theories. Of course, he said he only made up these theories for fun, but Iwaizumi had seen the weird documents Oikawa kept in the secret box beneath his bed. _‘Clues that Hanamaki is an alien: pink (?) hair, likes his coffee black, can sleep with his eyes open.’_ It went on like that about almost every person Oikawa knew.

Either way, they had been studying. Peacefully. Nothing dramatic going on. Just a normal, mundane day – for once, Iwaizumi had though – filled with their casual routines. But of course, it had to be ruined by something as simple as Oikawa’s phone screen lighting up. Seconds later Oikawa had been grinning at Iwaizumi arrogantly, eyes glistening in that familiar way that alarmed the spiker to cover his ears from overexaggerated bragging.

“I was just invited to do another _paid_ gig”, the cursed words were whispered through soft, pink lips. “I am _famous,_ Iwa-chan. Famous...!”

The girls by the table next to them shushed as Oikawa’s whispers had been neither quiet nor subtle. They had much reason to get annoyed as it wasn’t the first time Oikawa was being noisy – first whining when spilling juice on his uniform, then giggling at videos from his phone when taking a short break and now this. This time around, however, Iwaizumi didn’t get irritated over the fact that Oikawa was being noisy. No, instead it was the content of what he was saying that fueled Iwaizumi’s anger. Where did these crazy bastards that employed Oikawa even emerge from?

“And who the hell invited you?” Iwaizumi mouthed back, keeping his voice quiet enough not to disturb the studious girls next to them. They seemed to like and respect Iwaizumi and he wasn’t going to lose that respect just because some perverts had paid to see Oikawa in a miniskirt.

Oikawa, annoyingly unbothered by the shushes the girls would send his way, lifted his phone up and showed Iwaizumi the profile picture of the guy who had approached him. Iwaizumi blinked and squinted his eyes at the screen. Piercings, blonde hair, a confident smirk. His face dropped expressionless.

“Oh, fuck no!” he shouted loudly enough to a minute later be asked to leave the library.

X

Despite Iwaizumi’s angry outburst at the library, Oikawa had ended up accepting the job offer, if it even could be called that. He had eagerly replied to the captain of Johzenji that he’d be honored to come do a cheerleading dance for their practice game with Dateko later that week. Apparently, since two different teams were playing, both of them would be paying Oikawa, which meant double pay. Iwaizumi was constantly reminded of that, the boasting as never-ending as the cheerleading madness itself.

And so, on Saturday morning, Iwaizumi skipped his morning run to babysit his best friend. He only did it because he had to protect Oikawa, and not at all because he would enjoy the show. No, definitely not. No matter what Kita Shinsuke had tried to imply earlier, Iwaizumi only looked after Oikawa for Oikawa’s own good. While walking with him, he glanced over at the pretty boy, admiring how his long lashes fluttered when he yawned. Okay, maybe he also kind of liked his face. He glanced down at his long legs hidden beneath a layer of sweatpants. Alright, he could admit Oikawa had a nice pair of legs too. And the way his hair flowed in the wind was cute. Fuck it, Iwaizumi was definitely doing this because he would enjoy the show of Oikawa in a cheerleading outfit.

The cheerleader himself was a bit moody, having stayed up late last night to watch some kind of weird documentaries. The lack of sleep was not evident anywhere on his features, however, his almost irritatingly symmetrical face looking as youthful and flawless as when he had slept properly. Despite this, the whining persisted, constant and painful.

“Ugh I’m so ugly today”, Oikawa complained, squeezing his own cheeks as if they were hideous, horrible bags. “Look at how puffy I am, Iwa-chan! I’m a disaster! Do you think they’ll notice?”

“No one will care”, Iwaizumi grumbled, his tone making it sound as if Oikawa was meaningless. What he meant was that no one would be looking at his face when he’d be wearing a slutty skirt that revealed way too much of his soft thighs. That he’d never tell him, however, as it’d only go straight to Oikawa’s head.

“How dare you!” Oikawa gasped as if Iwaizumi just had murdered his entire family. “Everyone cares about me, always!”

“You can’t seriously think that”, Iwaizumi grumbled. They were now near the gymnasium. Somehow, the air around Johzenji felt warm and wild, just like the team itself.

“Are you trying to imply that everyone doesn’t?!” the tone was even more distressed this time around. Rough sand crunched beneath their footsteps as they approached the large, dull-looking building. Iwaizumi could already feel his blood pressure increasing from what lay ahead of them. Yet another day of trying to keep Oikawa from bending over in those miniskirts…

“I’m implying that no one does”, he replied, grumpy over how bothersome Oikawa had been during their trip to Johzenji. Constantly either bragging or complaining. What a brat.

“Clearly _someone_ does, as they employed me for this gig!” just like that, the bragging-switch had been turned on, his pale face less pouty and more arrogant. He grabbed the doorhandle with a determined huff and opened the door to the gym. “I am very pretty and smart and talented!”

“You were just complaining about being ugly a second ago”, Iwaizumi deadpanned.

“Iwa-chan! Stop being so mean to me!” his high-pitched voice echoed over the gymnasium loudly enough for all the boys to turn their heads to face the source of the voice. Two of them immediately leapt up from the floor where they had been stretching, Iwaizumi recognizing them as the captains of Johzenji and Dateko. “Ah, they’re all here already.”

“Tooru!” Terushima, the carefree and dangerously flirtatious captain spoke up first. He seemed to have death wish with the way he used Oikawa’s first name right away. “You’re here, amazing! You look just as edible in real life as in your photos”, his low tone almost sounded like a purr.

“We are glad you could make it”, Futakuchi didn’t seem any better, however, as his polite smile only looked more like a calculative smirk. “Yuuji here”, he gestured to Terushima, “has quite a fun day planned for us all. Of course, your presence is required for his plans to work”, he hummed happily, sucking up to Oikawa right away.

“See? I told you people do care about me!” Oikawa lifted his nose up in the air, falling headfirst for the manipulative words. He turned his face away from Iwaizumi ever so slightly to emphasize that he was mad at him. Iwaizumi knew this would last a minute at most.

“Oh, we do more than _care_ about you”, Terushima smirked. “In fact, are you free tonight? I have a really bouncy bed that could make-“

“Where is his outfit for the day?” Iwaizumi interrupted before the insane invitation got any more inappropriate. His dark glare should have been enough for the two eager captains to back off, but Futakuchi, the bastard, only stepped closer and handed Oikawa a neat-looking bag.

“Here it is”, he smiled and bowed slightly.

Oikawa accepted it, slightly perplexed over Terushima’s strange comments. He quickly disregarded them as he glanced into the bag, curious and excited. Last time he hadn’t been able to receive his payment properly as the Miya twins had pulled that dumb prank on him. Kita had sent Oikawa an apologetic text message, inviting him to come over to Inarizaki to collect his payment. So far Oikawa hadn’t had time to travel all the way to Hyogo. But his mind could rest knowing that his money was safe and waiting for him.

This time around, Oikawa wanted his money right away, without any complications. Which was why he was so determined to wear whatever outfit he had been given and do whatever activities the two other captains had planned for him. Iwaizumi was less ecstatic, feeling how his stress-levels were rising dangerously fast at how Futakuchi had implied they had some kind of program planned for the day. For some reason, Iwaizumi was fairly sure that it wouldn’t be something as innocent and sweet as karaoke singing this time around.

“Well, I’ll go get changed then!” Oikawa’s plastic smile was back, wide and charming and forced. But it didn’t matter, because it was equally as pretty, and both Terushima and Futakuchi were smiling back like lovesick fools. “It’s that way, right?” he pointed at the signs that lead to the locker rooms.

“Yea, let me assist you get naked- I mean change”, Terushima took eager steps to stay close to Oikawa when the latter had started walking off.

“I can come help you carry your bags”, Futakuchi kept up his polite act all while he slithered way too close to Oikawa for Iwaizumi’s liking.

The vice-captain of Seijoh grabbed the two overly eager captains by their collars, jerking them away from Oikawa with a firm, threatening pull. “He will be completely fine on his own”, he growled lowly.

“Ugh, fine, fine!” Futakuchi groaned in annoyance, rubbing his neck sadly at how harshly his collar had tugged him back. Terushima clicked his tongue in disapproval but didn’t try to follow Oikawa again.

“Let’s go then”, Iwaizumi muttered at Oikawa, moving to follow his friends towards the locker room. Unlike the two losers who had tried to be sneaky, Iwaizumi actually had the right to go see Oikawa get changed. As soon as he had taken his first step towards Oikawa, however, the two captains grabbed his arms and pulled him back.

“If we can’t go, you can’t go”, Terushima grinned widely, looking too playful to be innocent.

“You did say he will be fine on his own”, Futakuchi’s smile was gentler, but something wicked definitely lay hidden behind the soft expression.

“I seriously don’t get why Iwa-chan keeps mothering me”, Oikawa shook his head, tsking slightly. “At this rate you’ll end up being a stay-at-home mom instead of a sports instructor!” he teased. Then he turned around. “I’ll be waving at you from the Olympics when you’ll be busy babysitting your one thousand babies”, he waved as he walked off.

“Alright, you assholes”, Iwaizumi said as soon as the door had flung shut behind Oikawa. He grabbed the hands on his arms and squeezed them hard enough to cause them some pain. Their inappropriate and illegal actions definitely deserved some punishment after all. “You win this one.”

“And we’ll win the next ones too”, Futakuchi bowed politely, as if to say, _we accept the challenge._

X

Dateko and Johzenji had already started warming up on each side of the court when Oikawa emerged. The two teams were definitely up to something, as they had a large cooler containing _something_ inside of it. It was positioned by the side of the court. Iwaizumi also noted that the Johzenji players were extremely giddy and excited, and so he was able to deduce that they most likely were more aware of whatever program they had planned for the day. Well, it was logical, considering that the one responsible for whatever was about to happen was Terushima…

Either way, Oikawa waltzed out looking extremely satisfied. He spun around in an excited pirouette, seeming to favor this outfit over any of the others he had been given. It wasn’t hard to see the reason why – it was bright gold and sparkly, looking just ridiculous enough to fit Oikawa’s taste. The skirt and top were like many of the other outfits; short and exposing most of Oikawa’s pale skin. The difference with this outfit wasn’t the shape of it, but instead the fabric, that was shiny and glittery with rows and rows of golden sequins. In fact, both the skirt and top were fully covered with these sequins, and Oikawa looked like some kind of illuminated god. 

“I look like a celebrity”, he sang, doing another excited spin. He was getting very used to these outfits and gigs, enough to actually like wearing skirts. He could see why girls wore them – they were breathy and nice and it was a lot of fun to spin around in them. In fact, he would do it once more.

“Stop spinning around or you’ll get sick”, Iwaizumi said, eyes lowered on Oikawa’s legs to watch how the skirt flew up at the spins the captain of Seijoh kept doing. Oikawa didn’t seem to listen as he just did another spin, studying how the fabric glistened when moving around. Hypnotizing.

Every spin he did was met by an eager cheer by the party team, the boys jumping and shouting eagerly as if Oikawa was scoring point after point in the most exciting volleyball game ever. This only drove Oikawa to spin more, bathing in the attention he was given. Dateko were more laid back, but none of them missed the opportunity to enjoy this show. In fact, Koganegawa, the new setter of the team, was unquestionably gaping.

As expected, Oikawa soon did get sick, stopping abruptly and wobbling in his place. “Woah, dizzy”, he said sheepishly.

“Told you so”, Iwaizumi grumbled, provoked by how everyone had been staring at Oikawa so shamelessly. One more day, Iwaizumi told himself. If he just made it through this day without killing anyone, he would be a champion. And after today, he’d put an end to this madness. Perhaps by deleting Oikawa’s social media or just breaking his phone to make sure he would be unable to reply to any of the requests he got.

“Mean, you should be helping me out!” Oikawa whined angrily, leaning his hands on his knees to support himself. A few seconds of deep breaths seemed to work as a healing potion because then he stood up properly again, smiling cutely. “Sorry about that guys, the great Oikawa-san isn’t used to doing ballet!”

“Aw, but you’re so good at dancing!” Terushima smiled in excitement. “In fact, I have a pole at home-“

“One more word and you’ll be castrated”, Iwaizumi cut in.

“You are so dramatic Iwaizumi-san”, Futakuchi said politely, but honestly, his words came off as nothing but rude. “Yuuji was just giving Tooru some compliments.”

“Yeah, Iwa-chan! Must you be so grumpy all the time?! Why did you even come with me if you’re gonna be such a killjoy!?” Oikawa crossed his arms, puffing his cheeks a bit, like he did when he hit his killer serves. It was cute. Iwaizumi didn’t have time to think about that, however, and he quickly rolled his eyes in response. He had to keep up his act so that his true intentions weren’t revealed.

“You begged for me to come”, he reminded the selfish setter. It was true, Iwaizumi had text message after text message as proof for his statement. Iwaizumi had, after all, developed the best strategy ever to handle Oikawa – act unbothered and uncaring and Oikawa would be clinging onto you for dear life to get acknowledgment and approval. The only downside was that Iwaizumi couldn’t be too affectionate. Yet, at least.

“So, what’s the program for today guys? Dancing? Singing?” Oikawa completely ignored what Iwaizumi just had told him, most likely fully aware that he was in the wrong. Like always, he was completely incapable of admitting he was wrong and instead chose the more convenient path of ignoring his mistake.

“Actually, Yuuji taught me about this extremely fun game that is a tradition at Johzenji”, Futakuchi’s words made Iwaizumi’s body go cold in worry. This could not indicate well in any way at all.

“Have you ever heard about volleyball-and-drink?” Terushima grinned widely, eyes shining in excitement. It seemed that not only the presence of Oikawa was making him eager, but this game in itself was a clear cause for happiness for him. This only made it all so more worrisome.

“No”, Oikawa frowned, suddenly feeling way less cool than usually. This game sounded like something popular kids were up to and he had never even heard about it. Jealousy colored his face for a few seconds before he forced his polite smile back. “It’s probably a cultural difference, in Seijoh we have another game actually”, he refused to seem uncool. “But do enlighten me with your fun pastime!”

“It’s actually kinda self-explanatory”, Terushima’s smile only grew wider, “we will play volleyball, casually, and drink alcohol. Each time one team scores a point, the other teams take a sip of their beverages”, his eyes were almost glowing now, “and of course, for this occasion, we needed a shot girl! Or well, in this case boy…”

Oikawa smirked wickedly. Now _this_ sounded like a cool game indeed! He was just the kind of person to think underage drinking was something to strive after, something illegal in an exciting and mischievous way. It was right up his alley. “Right, right, right, of course I’ve heard of this game before”, he lied. “So, shot boy, I know what that is, but since Iwa-chan doesn’t, please explain”, he said, obviously unfamiliar with said terminology.

“We need someone to distribute the beverages for us”, now Futakuchi spoke up, clearly familiar with the rules for this game. Terushima must have explained this all properly for him. “And as the shot boy, you will be drinking together with us.”

“So basically, Oikawa will drink every time either team scores?” Iwaizumi’s face was completely blank. “This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“Killjoy! Killjoy!” Terushima started chanting, his teammates quickly joining in, and after a few times Oikawa himself was joining the chant.

“You idiot”, Iwaizumi growled. “You’ll be drinking twice as much as anyone else here”, he reasoned. This was not going to end well. Iwaizumi knew Oikawa never really had drunk alcohol before, except for a cider here and there when his big sister had gotten them some to try it out. Legally, none of them were allowed to drink, after all. And honestly, with volleyball taking up most of his time, Oikawa hadn’t really been interested either. Until now.

“So? I’m a big, strong man!” Oikawa flexed his arms. “I can handle it.”

“That’s right!” Terushima stood up for the cheerleader, patting Oikawa’s shoulder encouragingly.

“Stop underestimating your skillful captain”, Futakuchi shook his head in disappointment.

“Exactly, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa grinned. These two captains seemed to understand his situation perfectly. He was starting to like both of them for real now, as they were standing up for him and complimenting him. “Besides, you’re not my mom, so you can’t stop me!”

“As if you’d even listen to your mom”, Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t”, the arrogant huff was enough of a sign that Oikawa wasn’t going to back down. “Anyway, this does sound like a fun game”, he turned to Terushima and Futakuchi, his plastic smile back. “Shall we start then?”

“Yes, of course”, Futakuchi hummed. “Here are the drinks”, he gently kicked the bulky cooler on the wooden floor.

“And here is a tray for you to hold”, Terushima had scooped up a large, golden tray that had been leaning against the cooler. It matched Oikawa’s outfit perfectly. Why the two teams had gone for this golden theme for his outfit was beyond Iwaizumi’s understanding, but honestly, it did look good on Oikawa, so he wasn’t complaining.

“Yes of course”, Oikawa nodded. Then he placed his hands on his hips confidently. “I’ll be the best shot boy ever, just you guys wait!” he announced loudly. The boys on the court had who had been watching the weird interactions for a while now cheered in response, eager for whatever this obscure game would entail.

“I don’t doubt that at all”, Terushima’s tone was so flirty that even Oikawa must have heard it. But who knew, really? Oikawa seemed hopelessly unaware of the way both Futakuchi and Terushima stared at him. In fact, his only response was a polite nod, and so Iwaizumi concluded he indeed had missed the tone.

While the boys started getting ready for the practice game, Oikawa knelt down by the cooler and started scooping out the drinks. It seemed most of the beverages were different types of beer. Where they had gotten all these drinks from was a whole mystery on its own, as none of them were of age to buy alcohol. Perhaps they just knew the right people. Johzenji did seem like the type of team to throw large parties regularly.

Iwaizumi stood by Oikawa’s side, eyes darting around the court, looking like a watchdog guarding its precious treat. And it wasn’t that far from the truth, as Oikawa was a precious treat in his life in one way or another. His sharp eyes followed how Terushima grinned at his teammates, how they said something and laughed, how they jumped around carelessly and playfully. Then, his eyes regarded Futakuchi and Dateko, their atmosphere much more calculated and serious. There were some exceptions to the more stoic atmosphere, however, like the tall setter Koganegawa, who personality-wise would have fit Johzenji better.

As soon as Oikawa was ready, standing up tall and proud with his golden tray full of beer, the game began. There wasn’t really any official coaches or judges present, so the practice game was carried out in a very relaxed and light manner. The presence of the drinking game most likely also contributed to this attitude, as exercising and drinking really wasn’t the best combination out there. In fact, Iwaizumi was fairly certain that exercising while drinking was dangerous. He didn’t mention this, though. If any of them would get cramps or throw up, he’d secretly enjoy it.

Even with the heavy tray in his hands, Oikawa cheered, his eagerness fueled by the knowledge that he would be receiving a nice, fat paycheck from this gig. Because he last time hadn’t received his payment, he wanted to ensure that he’d actually get it this time around. This time around he had spotted some interesting volleyball gear online that he wanted to order. And a jar of sticky-looking, green slime – he was rather sure it had something to do with aliens. Either way, he needed those things, and for that very reason, he made sure to sound cute when shouting the names of the players.

The first team to drink was Johzenji, and the party team only cheered when they lost a point. It was absurd, as the expected reaction should have been to be frustrated or annoyed at missing a point. But they only jumped up in the air and high-fived each other before walking up to their shot boy, ready to take a few sips of the beer. Oikawa smiled politely at the players, giving them encouraging words to do their best. Iwaizumi was considerably less polite, eyebrows narrowed into a mean glare, threatening the boys who dared to step too close to the sexy cheerleader.

“Ah wait”, Oikawa realized something. “How am I supposed to drink”, his hands were occupied after all.

“Right, let me help you out”, something about his tone sounded as if he had been expecting this, and so Terushima brought the can he just had been drinking from to Oikawa’s lips to help him drink. Iwaizumi watched in horror how the thumb of Terushima rubbed against Oikawa’s lip while he coaxed him to take some sips.

“Aw, thanks!” Oikawa grinned in reply. He felt cool and popular when drinking alcohol like this and his grin turned into a small smirk when he glanced at Iwaizumi, as if to say _Look at me Iwa-chan, I’m so much cooler than you._

Bobata, Johzenji’s middle blocker, leapt up to Oikawa as well, holding up his can. “Want some more, Tooru?” why they all felt it was okay to use his first name was something Iwaizumi never would understand, but he also knew he couldn’t really stop them from doing it either.

“Uh, sure!” Oikawa smiled and leaned down slightly to drink some more. This was not going to end well at all. The captain of Seijoh was drinking too much too fast already and the game had just begun.

“You’re gonna regret this”, Iwaizumi muttered to Oikawa when the team members of Johzenji scattered back to the court and the game resumed. The shot boy of the day only snorted in response.

“You’re so dull Iwa-chan”, he said teasingly. “I won’t regret a single thing.”

Those were the famous last words of sober-Oikawa, because within the span of twenty minutes, he had gone positively red and wobbly, all thanks to the fact that Johzenji purposefully let Dateko block their spikes to be able to drink. Futakuchi seemed annoyed at this, even telling his team to stop blocking just so that they too would be allowed to go close to Oikawa. So far, they had only gotten do so twice.

Either way, Oikawa was starting to be wobbly enough for Iwaizumi to take the tray away from him, as the beers threatened to fall to the floor on more than one occasion. Fortunately, Oikawa didn’t get offended by this at all. No, he seemed distracted by the ball, staring at it like a cat following its toy – the reaction speed was just slightly slow.

Iwaizumi should have realized what the staring meant, but he didn’t, and before it was too late, Oikawa had wandered off to join Dateko on the court.

“Kogane-chan”, Oikawa said as he waddled up to the setter. “I’ll join as your second setter, let’s beat them”, he leaned against him, painfully unaware of how physical he was being. “I’m the best setter in the world so you should watch me closely!” he said as he rubbed his cheek against his shoulder.

“I-I will, Oikawa-senpai!” Koganegawa stuttered. His face matched the shade of Oikawa’s, but not due to alcohol. Iwaizumi felt like he was going to explode. _Of course,_ Oikawa was a touchy-and-clingy-drunk.

“Wow, this is better than I had ever imagined”, Futakuchi spoke, receiving the ball Johzenji’s Numajiri just had served. After getting the ball up in the air, he watched how Oikawa perked up and swayed towards it. His form was perfect even when drunk, and Futakuchi actually thought Oikawa was going to toss the perfect set. And he did. Right into the net.

“What? Why did the net move!?” Oikawa stared at it angrily. Walking up to it with fast, frustrated strides, he looked ready to pick a fight with the volleyball net. He then moved to press his face against it. “Do I look dumb now, Teru-chan?” and with that, he forgot about his failed toss and the fight he had been about to start, making grimaces through the net.

“Haha”, Terushima wasn’t sober himself either, and he cracked up way too hard over Oikawa’s squished face. “That looks like fun”, he ran up to the net and did the same, causing Oikawa to snicker in return.

“Alright, alright, you two drunkards”, Futakuchi walked over to Oikawa and pulled him away from the net by grabbing his arm. “If you wanna stay as our setter, you better get ready. The party team is about to serve”, he reminded.

“Right”, Oikawa hit himself on his forehead gently. “Wow, you’re so smart Kuchi-chan”, he giggled. “I thought it was my turn to serve”, the idea of Oikawa doing his killer serve in this state was actually terrifying, because that thing was powerful. With his aim worse than his nephew’s, it would have been a complete disaster.

“No, it’s your turn to receive”, the captain of Dateko spoke up. He then leaned close and whispered into Oikawa’s ear. “Perhaps more than just a volleyball. Hm, how about it, cheerleader?”

“Huh?” Oikawa leaned back against Futakuchi, practically pressing himself against him. Iwaizumi didn’t know what to do. “What are you talking about?” his voice was loud and confused.

“I’ll explain it to you later”, the words were accompanied by a firm slap to his ass. That was crossing the line. In fact, it was low. Oikawa was drunk and unaware of himself and this jackass was taking advantage of it.

Apparently, his own teammates thought so too, as Aone, the silent, cold giant, wandered over and grabbed Oikawa by his shoulders. The next second Oikawa was off the floor and being carried away to the side gently and carefully. The fact that Aone was able to carry Oikawa like that was extremely impressive, and the captain of Seijoh only seemed amused at his sudden flight. Aone sat Oikawa down next to Iwaizumi and then politely fixed his skirt that had gotten out of place with how he had wiggled around while being carried.

“You big idiot”, Iwaizumi muttered lowly to Oikawa. His frustration melted the second Oikawa’s cheek was against his shoulder, and he gently wrapped his arm around him. Only to help him stand, of course. “I told you this was a bad idea.”

“This was the _best_ idea”, Oikawa slurred in reply, rubbing his cheek against Iwaizumi affectionately. In a way, this disaster was a valuable life lesson as well. Never, ever let Oikawa Tooru drink without supervision. He was way too friendly and touchy when drunk.

“You’ll think differently as soon as you sober up”, Iwaizumi sighed. He watched how Futakuchi glared at him from the court, most likely upset that his fun had ended as fast as it had begun. It was impossible to resist the urge to smirk in reply and so Iwaizumi gave in to the urge.

After that, the game continued, Oikawa still cheering on occasion. Most of the time he was busy analyzing Iwaizumi’s scent, sometimes calling it forest-like, other times sweaty. Then, he commented that it was nice, and it caught Iwaizumi off guard enough for Oikawa to be able to sneak back to the court, this time to Johzenji’s side. The party team cheered loudly in response, forming a circle around Oikawa and jumping around him to welcome him to their team.

“Let’s go Tooru!” Futamata, the setter screamed. Everyone on Johzenji were already tipsy at the very least, and so they didn’t take advantage of Oikawa’s drunk state. How could they, when they barely were aware of themselves? Then again, the results of having them all drunk together was that they all just leaned against each other, which wasn’t a much better either.

“Woohoo!” Oikawa cheered back, throwing his fists up in the air. “Okay hear me out guys, I was thinking about this earlier”, he suddenly seemed serious. “How about… We all get on each other’s shoulders like this”, he made some very strange gestures, “and that makes us the tallest person ever. We’d be unbeatable!”

“Holy shit”, Terushima gaped. “That’s the most genius idea ever!”

“I’ve been such an idiot!” Bobata hit himself on the forehead a few times as if to scold himself for his foolishness.

“Let’s do it!” Futamata clapped his hands in excitement.

“Okay, I should be the one to carry everyone as I’m the captain”, Terushima reasoned, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

“Then I should be the one on you because I’m also a captain”, Oikawa said. Once again, none of them saw the problem with this logic. Dateko stood frozen on the other side of the net. Koganegawa mumbled to Futakuchi that he wanted to try this too and Futakuchi only gently slapped his shoulder in response.

“Get on me then, Tooru”, Terushima knelt down. “This plan is fool-proof. With this tactic, we’ll win nationals for sure.”

“Nationals? No, the whole world”, Iwaizumi watched in panic as Oikawa sat down on Terushima’s shoulders, both of them swaying. Oikawa’s skirt went up enough to expose his boxers, but he seemed completely unaware of this, only focusing on his insane idea to combine the team into one giant player. “Okay, get me up, Teru-chan.”

“Count on me”, Terushima tried to stand up with Oikawa on his shoulders, and for a few seconds it looked promising. How they were planning on getting someone on Oikawa’s shoulders was something no one knew, but the two captains merely cheered as they succeeded to stand up.

“Look at me Iwa-chan, I’m the tallest volleyball player in Japan!” Oikawa let go of Terushima’s head, which he had been holding onto for support, to demonstrate his greatness. This naturally resulted in him losing his balance and starting to fall backwards, which Terushima tried to save by leaning forwards, and ultimately the two collapsed on each other and down to the floor.

“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi was unable to hide his concern as he rushed over, the cheerleader wincing slightly on the floor. Terushima lay on top of him, head buried against his stomach. “You dumbass! Are you okay!?”

“Tooru”, Terushima grumbled, turning around to hug the captain of Seijoh affectionately. “Sorry for letting you down.”

Oikawa was quiet for a few seconds, rubbing the back of his head. Then he snickered, slowly laughing harder and harder. “You _let_ me down indeed.”

“Oh, oh, I get it!” Terushima joined in.

Futakuchi sighed on the other side of the net, rolling his eyes. “Saku, get me a beer”, he told the libero of Dateko, needing something to drink to still the jealousy burning in his chest. _He_ wanted to be cuddling Oikawa in the way Terushima was. The libero jogged off obediently at the order by his captain.

“No more beers for you”, Iwaizumi scolded Oikawa as he helped him get up, managing to shake the overly affectionate Terushima off of him. He looked him over for bruises, being pretty sure that Oikawa wouldn’t notice them himself in his current state. Luckily, there seemed to be none.

“Boo, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa booed childishly. He was completely incapable of faking his usual polite, charming behavior, all of his pettiness, selfishness and childishness completely out in the open. But of course, he looked so good in these slutty outfits that everyone just forgave him for everything he did, including Iwaizumi himself.

“Oikawa”, Iwaizumi tried to reason, frowning at him angrily. “Let’s get you some water.”

“Nope!” he pushed Iwaizumi away and moved to hide behind Terushima.

“Iwaizumi-san, you really shouldn’t micromanage Tooru’s life”, Futakuchi, now with a can of beer in his hand, spoke up across the net. “If he wants another beer, he can have one. Here, Tooru”, he held it towards Oikawa.

Oikawa walked over immediately, ignoring how his childhood best friend sent him warning, dangerous glares. Johzenji only cheered again, seeming to do so whenever Oikawa took a sip of the drinks – that only encouraged him to drink more. Which most likely was the whole point of the cheering.

“Futakuchi”, Iwaizumi warned. “You give him that beer and you’ll regret it later.”

The captain of Dateko only stared Iwaizumi right in the eyes and then pushed the can of beer into Oikawa’s accepting and eager hands. As the cheering kept on, Oikawa started chugging down the beer, wanting to show off in front of his audience. By now the fact that he was doing any of this for a paycheck was long forgotten. All he thought of was having fun. He felt fuzzy and warm, everything spinning slightly. What a good day!

“Futakuchi”, Iwaizumi grumbled.

“Hey, hey, no bad vibes, this is just a fun game”, Terushima cut in, patting Iwaizumi’s shoulder soothingly.

“He’s barely standing!” Iwaizumi gestured to Oikawa who now was leaning against Aone for support, the huge middle blocker gently putting his volleyball jacket over Oikawa’s shoulders to help him get covered up. It was a nice thing to do, considering that Oikawa really had no idea of how much he was exposing himself right now.

“He’s having fun”, Futakuchi frowned. This practice game would have been much more fun if Iwaizumi hadn’t been there to constantly interrupt things when they got interesting.

“Exactly!” Terushima chuckled happily. “Why don’t you have a beer too, Iwa-chan?”

“Don’t call me that!” Iwaizumi’s face burned in anger.

“What? Only your precious Tooru can?” Futakuchi challenged. Things were getting heated now, the vice-captain of Seijoh stepping closer warningly.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Seriously, just have a beer”, Terushima sang.

“Seems I hit a nerve there”, Futakuchi hummed teasingly.

The others stared awkwardly as the argument between the trio got more and more heated, the previously light-hearted atmosphere suddenly tense and uncomfortable.

“Why don’t you just relax?” Terushima tried to calm the situation, drunk enough to stay fairly unbothered by how Iwaizumi and Futakuchi kept throwing nasty insults at each other.

“I can’t! I have to make sure Oikawa is fine!” Iwaizumi growled.

“But he’s perfectly fine, I mean look at him!” Futakuchi turned around to where Oikawa just had been, only to blink in surprise. All that was left of Oikawa was just the jacket Aone had lent him, lying in a pathetic pile on the wooden floor. “Ah.”

“Oikawa!?” Iwaizumi realized he had forgotten to keep an eye on his captain while arguing. Where had the drunkard walked off to!? He could have gone anywhere!

“Oh”, Terushima chuckled a bit. “I think he went on a drunk adventure.” The other Johzenji members laughed with their captain, not taking this too seriously. In fact, most of them had been on these so-called ‘drunk adventures’.

“Which way did he go?” Iwaizumi looked at Koganegawa and Aone, who had been the ones standing the closest to Oikawa before the cheerleader had disappeared.

“I don’t… know”, Koganegawa replied sadly. He had been so distracted by watching his captain provoke Iwaizumi that he had missed how Oikawa had gotten bored and wandered off. As Iwaizumi turned to look at Aone, the giant only shook his head mutely, indicating he didn’t know either.

“Goddammit”, Iwaizumi hissed under his breath. He turned to glare at both Terushima and Futakuchi. “This conversation is not over.”

“Okay, mom”, Terushima laughed. He’d laugh less when sober and facing the fury that Iwaizumi had in store for him.

“He does sound like my mom”, Futakuchi agreed. Then Iwaizumi ran off.

X

“Woah”, Oikawa had wandered out to the street and had found a giant bus parked by the side of the road. The argument that had taken place had bored him and he had suddenly realized that he had needed to go to the bathroom. On the way to the bathroom, he had got distracted by the shiny floor and followed it outside, and now he was there, standing by this bus, looking up at it with unfocused, glazed eyes.

He took a sip of the beer he still had in his hand, blinking slowly at the big vehicle. “Woah”, he repeated.

“Who are you”, the voice was muffled behind a mask. Oikawa turned around and stared up at a guy wearing a yellow tracksuit. He tried to focus his eyes but everything remained slightly blurry.

“Itachi… yama”, Oikawa spoke each syllable hesitantly, unsure of the pronunciation of the kanji on the jacket. “Oh! Itachiyama!” he repeated eagerly, eyes lightening up and staring at the guy in front of him. He was wearing a face mask and had thick, black, curly locks falling down over his forehead.

“That’s not your name”, the teen repeated, annoyed. “I’m Sakusa. Who are you?” he asked.

“Oikawa”, he replied, the cogs inside his brain working hard to remember where he had heard the words _Itachiyama_ and _Sakusa_ combined before. Nothing came to his mind, however. “Is this your bus?”

“Yes”, Sakusa replied. It wasn’t _his,_ but his team’s. He felt that the explanation wouldn’t reach Oikawa right now, however, and so he refrained from saying it. Normally he would never have walked up to a stranger standing by their bus, too afraid of the germs. But this stranger had looked illuminating, quite literally because of the outfit, and he had felt himself gravitate towards him.

“Woah”, Oikawa said for the third time since he had discovered the bus. “Wait, you’re a volleyball player, right?” his brain suddenly provided him with that much information. “Me too! I’m the best setter in the world.” Alcohol made him ridiculously confident, it appeared.

“Hm”, Sakusa didn’t seem all too convinced. He opened his gym bag and reached into it for some sanitizer. Something about this guy seemed oddly familiar, however. A very, very pretty setter from Miyagi… Why did this remind him of something Ushijima had always spoken about at the youth training camp? “Wait, you’re Oikawa Tooru, aren’t you?”

“The one and only”, Oikawa became cocky, thinking he was known for his volleyball skills. When Sakusa reached over to take his hand and squirted some cold sanitizer on them, he didn’t stop him. Instead, he set his beer aside to let his hands get washed. “Oh, chilly”, he commented at the gel-like substance.

“I’ve heard a lot about you”, Sakusa commented as he started washing Oikawa’s hands. “You should join me on the bus.”

“Really?!” Oikawa gasped, barely feeling how his hands were massaged with the sanitizer.

“Oh, Sakusa is making friends?” a new voice appeared. Sakusa was aware that his teammates were returning, and the first one to do so was none other than his cousin Komori. “This is rare-“, his voice was cut off when he saw the boy dressed in a sparkly cheerleading outfit. Okay, he could see why the germaphobe had approached this stranger. He would have been an absolute fool if he hadn’t.

“Yahoo!” Oikawa said cheerfully. “I’m joining you guys on the bus!”

“Yes, of course, go ahead”, Komori stepped aside and gestured to the entrance of the vehicle. He was bright red, staring at how the skirt moved when the guy walked over. Sakusa followed closely, looking scary and threatening as he loomed behind Oikawa.

“He’s with me”, Sakusa murmured lowly to his cousin, clearly putting his claim on the treasure he had found. Oikawa slowly got up the steps to the bus, leaning against the railing heavily before slumping down on a random seat. Sakusa sat down next to him.

“This is exciting”, Oikawa commented happily. He looked out of the window as if the bus was moving even if it actually remained perfectly still. “Where will we be going, Saku-chan?”

“You can call me Kiyoomi”, Sakusa said. He reached into his bag again. He should have had an extra face mask there somewhere… He didn’t want Oikawa to get any horrible germs either. “And we’re going to Tokyo.”

“Oh Tokyo!” Oikawa cheered. “I have many friends there”, he explained, leaning a bit too close to Sakusa accidentally. Sakusa was glad he had put the face mask on, not only to protect him from the germs, but to hide the blush on his cheeks. He could see why Ushijima was so obsessed with Oikawa Tooru.

The bus was slowly filled by the rest of the members of Itachiyama, and Sakusa was getting desperate to find his spare mask to keep Oikawa safe.

“Hey! Shittykawa!” a furious voice outside called. “Get out of that bus right now!”

Oikawa blinked and looked down. His face remained blank of surprise before he suddenly cracked up. “Haha, Iwa-chan! You look even shorter from up here!” he laughed. Iwaizumi could obviously not hear him as he spoke too softly, and the spiker of Seijoh only got red of anger when seeing how his friend laughed behind the window.

“Shittykawa!” he scolded loudly.

The bus shut its doors. Slowly, the driver took off, Oikawa waving gracefully at his best friend who screamed at him that he was an idiot. When he no longer could see Iwaizumi, Oikawa lowered his hand.

“Hey, Omi-chan”, Oikawa said after a minute. “I forgot my bag in the gym. I don’t even have my phone.”

By then, Sakusa had finally located the spare mask in his gym bag and gently leaned closer to place it on Oikawa’s face. “Don’t worry, I’ll look after you. Phones gather lots of germs anyway.”

“Oh, right, right. Well, here I come Tokyo!” 

**Author's Note:**

> \--- and iwaizumi finally fucked up and lost oikawa XD hahahahhahaa  
> fdhajfkhbksf pls leave a comment if you liked it!!!!!


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